ADOPTION RELATED SEARCHING

We suggest you print this page and use it as a reference.

These are very basic steps for doing an adoption search; Adoptee for

birthparents; birthparents for adoptees; adoptive parents for birthparents.

The single difference that distinguishes an adoption search from any other is

that, often, you begin without knowing the name of the person for whom you're

searching. This is complicated by name changes when birthmothers marry.

You face a two-step process

1. Find the name

2. Find the person

There was a time when searching was done in isolation and secret. That,

mercifully, is no longer true. There are many places and much help. Assert

yourself.

Register with the International Soundex Reunion Registry.

ISRR is a totally volunteer organization thus your complete cooperation is

required. Read carefully and follow their directions to the letter. Answer every

question as thoroughly as you can to give them details to make a match.

Registration is free (donations encouraged). Send self-addressed, stamped

envelope to ISRR, PO Box 2312, Carson City NV 89702.

Searching is not to be taken lightly. It is a large commitment of time, energy

and emotions you probably didn't know existed. It is not for the faint of heart.

Enter your personal search with determination and be prepared for challenges,

obstacles and disappointments. You may be facing a long and compelling

experience.

Read, read, read

There are many books about searching and reunions. Many inspire. Some anger. All

teach. You will learn about other people's searches. What worked. What didn't.

Keep your mind, heart, eyes and ears open to the message of each. Begin at your

local library.

If you are an adoptee, ask your adoptive parents.

Most adoptive parents expect their children to ask for information. Some offer

it but most must be gently confronted. The best outcome should be that your

parents share all the information they have, which sometimes includes the name

and more. If not, they can direct you to the agency or intermediary who helped

make the placement.

Be very circumspect and thoughtful about why you are searching. Medical

information to survive is probably the most compelling reason to search. Think

through what you hope to find and alternative realities that might be the case.

Try to prepare yourself to be surprised, overwhelmed, disappointed or even

underwhelmed. Use your best judgement. Let everyone adjust at their own pace.

Resources for beginners

REGISTER

International Soundex Reunion Registry

PO Box 2312

Carson City NV 89702.

WITH A COMPUTER

http://www.ABORN.ORG